Once you believe something is yours, the universe starts the process of bringing it to you. That goes the same for negative talk whether it’s about your financial status, your marriage, your body, and essentially your entire fucking life. I’m working on understanding why we constantly talk about things we don’t want because not only do I do this at times, but family and friends do too. It’s one thing to have circulating negative thoughts and then catching them before you say them outload...but how amazing would it be to just tune them out to the point where they don’t even arise? That’s called magic, people. Inner Voice Magic.
I started my journey with inner voice work early last year, right in the middle of the first Covid lockdown.Yes, it sounds mad, but I am definitely far from scared of trying new things. Especially things that help with my mental awareness. I remember being introduced to Jess Lively’s podcast about 5 years ago, and she spoke so much about her journaling to her inner voice. “I wanna do that!!! HOW? TELL ME HOW!!!” I remember saying to myself. There were so many questions when I started to explore this part of myself like, am I literally just sitting here talking to myself?! What do I ask my “inner voice”? Man, I felt so silly, I’ll be honest. After lots of podcasts, research, and attempts…I finally sat in peace, with my journal and pen in hand, and tapped into that voice that she went on about for years. It was pure and simple. Some of the beginning questions I asked myself kinda went like this.
“Am I happy?”
“What brings me joy?”
“What can I do more of to bring more joy in my life?”
Some of the answers I got at the beginning were always short.
“Beautiful, light things”
“Dance and play”
When you get answers like, “dance and play”, the average person (maybe some of you reading this right now hahaha!!!!) would probably think, “Dance?! But why, though?”. Your inner voice loves the ‘why’ questions, I soon discovered. The more you sit in that space of connectedness, you can literally go for hours, so I’ve heard. I haven’t been able to do that yet, but maybe someday.
Last April/May I was having the hardest time. The entire world was, lets just be real. I could say my relationship was on the rocks…but I think the proper way to describe that was more like, ‘lost at sea’. Lockdown, quarantine, fear of literally everything…everyone felt it. I remember sitting at home listening to Jess Lively, and she went on about this Inner Voice Facilitator Training that she was launching, and I remember getting literal goosebumps. How cool would that be to sit with someone over the phone, and have them guide you to that place of calm where you can REALLY connect and dig deep?! I decided that there was no better time than now…so I reached out for a session.
A few weeks went by as I was anxiously awaiting my session. Since we were all on lockdown it’s not too hard to believe that I was counting the days and even hours at that point, haha. The day came and we began by having a short introduction, followed by the breathing technique I needed to uphold on the call, and how my ‘mind’ or ‘ego’ would pop in occasionally and say something, but to tune that out and go deeper…and really listen.
My Inner voice directed her towards many emotional barriers or "bean bags" as Jess calls them , one being an actual wall that I could see each piece of. Made of stone, this wall was something I constructed after years of trauma and past abuse, as well as the toxicity that arose from my most recent heartbreak. It’s like my subconscious held onto every single word that ever hurt me, and my Being (we’ll use this word to describe the inner voice bit) was leading me right up to it to take it down. Piece by piece.
“Inner Voice, why did you lead Hailee to this wall?”
“She has to change the wall, not herself”
“Why does she have to change it?”
“To let love in, by letting it be”
*que the tears*
“How do we take down this wall, inner voice? How strong is it?”
“Her mind built it strong, lean against it”
“Does she need to clean up the pieces, Inner Voice?”
“No, just walk through”
As you can imagine, I started to cry. I felt this rush of relief and I started laughing like I was five years old. It continued in this way for an hour…come to find out, I had a few emotional "bean bags" that we clearly needed to work through. I’ve read about stress hormones' living in certain areas of the body, but this was similar to an entire back story living somewhere on my side, and I could SEE it.
“Inner Voice, is Hailee going to be okay?
“yes *laughing*, she has peace knowing it’s love”
“How will she know when she’s ready?
“Don’t be scared, allow the time, just be there”
“How can Hailee be reminded of this, inner voice?”
“Let love in, she is the light, there’s no fear”
Even without definitive answers and basic directions on how to get there, I knew. I could feel it, and it all became so clear. My ego/mind was SO strong, and I let it take over. I’m not saying that I always have control because I don’t, and that’s why I’m writing this. It’s easier to let our minds build all the walls, to run our relationships, our decision making, and avoid the process of bringing about what WE truly want. It’s SO MUCH EASIER to let it run our lives like a playbook…but I took a look at my mind from a different perspective and it completely changed the way I viewed my thoughts. If we could all collectively, speak from our hearts and LIVE through them too, we could see a major shift happen. I know realistically that will never happen on a global, probably not even on a local scale, but man….if it did….that would be rad.
Have you tried Journaling to your Inner Voice before? What are some of your techniques you use to quiet your mind?! Drop your answers in the comments below. Click Here if you're interested in learning more about IV Sessions, and to find a Facilitator near you.